Doubting yourself? This is for you.

Are you experiencing the incessant internal monologue of self-doubt? It’s those negative thoughts that feed off of your insecurities and make you feel like you can never do anything right. Self-doubt is when you lack confidence in yourself and your abilities, and it can sometimes be hard to ignore, resulting in a negative mindset, dwindling self confidence, and poor performance.

This episode is the pep talk you need right now to get yourself out of self-doubt and into self-confidence with ease. Welcome to Calmly Coping. I’m your host, Tati Garcia. I’m a licensed therapist and a high functioning anxiety coach. Calmly Coping is the podcast for people who struggle with anxiety and high-functioning anxiety.

Each Wednesday, you’ll hear informative episodes with actionable tips about decreasing anxiety, adopting a healthy mindset, and managing your time and energy so you can live a calm and balanced life. Let’s get started.

Thank you so much for tuning in. So being in a place of self-doubt can be really challenging and it can feel all encompassing and like that’s the only thing you can focus on and easy to take those thoughts as truth. But my most important tip is to remember that you are your own worst critic. You know all of the buttons to push to put you in a place of self-doubt and to magnify those thoughts and all your insecurities become amplified in moments when you’re doing something that’s outside of your comfort zone, doing something that is new for you or something that you’ve never tried or done, making a difficult decision that can have potentially negative consequences.

Maybe when you’re met with a lack of support or doubt from others, especially people that you trust. When you’re in a period of change or transition, maybe you are changing jobs or moving or experiencing some other big change in your life, or you’re facing things that trigger those insecurities head on.

Those are all moments when thoughts of self-doubt are going to be amplified. So sometimes just having that awareness and just knowing that in moments that you’re experiencing any one of these things or anything else that might be triggering negative thoughts or doubt within yourself, that’s going to turn up the volume on those thoughts of self-doubt. And that does not mean that those thoughts are real or true. It just means that your body is in a state of feeling unsafe, of feeling unsettled, of feeling like things are changing, new things could be happening. We could be making risks. in the moment. And so as a result, your body’s going to turn up the volume on trying to keep you safe, trying to hold you back from doing something that could be potentially negative or could result in putting you in a negative situation.

Your mind is trying to keep you safe out of danger and from risking negative consequences. But here’s the thing, your thoughts and your self-doubt are not facts. They are based on the biggest fears and worries that you have about yourself. Many times, let’s say if you’re doubting your abilities to give a speech, if you mess up while giving a speech, you’re not going to be in any danger.

You’re not going to have something significantly bad happen to you, most likely. But your thoughts are making it appear as though something catastrophic is going to happen if you do something that’s outside of your comfort zone or if you make The quote unquote wrong decision. So it’s important to recognize that those thoughts of self-doubt are not based on facts and evidence.

They’re often based on the worst outcome that could occur in a situation or your biggest insecurities that you’re experiencing. Also, it’s important to recognize that you are capable of more than you realize, and then you give yourself credit for remember that and remind yourself of that, especially in these moments of self-doubt.

And I want you to repeat that to yourself now, whether it feels best depending on where you are, silently or out loud, repeat, I am capable of more than I realize. You are capable and you are enough. Also, I want you to, especially if you’re in a place of experiencing self-doubt along with feeling overwhelmed or potentially paralyzed or crippled by the current situation that you’re in, focus on only the next step.

This is very applicable, especially when it comes to decision making. If you’re doubting your ability to make the best decision or to make the right choice when it comes to a difficult situation, self-doubt can be super loud when things feel overwhelming or when they are new. So break things down one step at a time.

Look at things one by one. This can help you to feel more control over a situation and help you to feel less overwhelmed and less paralyzed by what you have to do. And it’s going to make it just psychologically easier to manage. So this can look like writing down an outline or breaking down a decision tree or writing down tasks step-by-step of what you have to do and then just focusing on the next step.

And then once you complete that, focusing on the next thing, or if it is a decision that you have to make, it can be the tried and true pros and cons list, or just One exercise that I find to be helpful is writing down, let’s say, if you are to imagine yourself following through with one decision, you can write this down, but you can also just visualize this.

What would that look like? What would that feel like if you were to commit to one choice? And then if you were to commit to the alternative choice, what would that look like? What would that feel like? And imagine yourself in those two different scenarios. And sometimes that can help you to work through some of the emotions.

Some of the thoughts and ideas that you have related to those two situations. If this is, of course, a decision that you are making, if it is a situation where you are doubting yourself and doubting your abilities in a situation, maybe you’re lacking confidence in something that you have. To do that requires you to put yourself outside of your comfort zone or do something that is a little new for you, then that can look like imagining yourself being successful in this situation.

Just imagining yourself. I’ve brought the example of a. for that speech and really killing it and really feeling confident from within and really connect to that sensation and visualize that success and what that will look like and feel like, and that will help to give you confidence in yourself to do the thing when we visualize ourselves doing something, our brain is behaving as though we’re actually doing the thing, and so that can be a form of practicing that can be a form of making your brain comfortable and familiar with that experience and then make it easier when you do show up to do the thing.

Another thing that can be helpful is to make things simpler for yourself if this is applicable to the situation. Sometimes we can overcomplicate things in moments of self-doubt or fear. This is my specialty. When I am going to do something new or try something different, I find that I always tend to overcomplicate them and try and do so much more than I really have to.

Let’s say if I’m thinking about launching one of my courses, I think, Oh, I have to create all of these new bonuses and features that will make it so much more enticing and overcomplicate things and make it so much. More overwhelming and stressful and time consuming for myself than it actually has to be.

If I could do those things, that would be great, but in reality, there’s not always the time or capacity for me to do those things along with everything else that I am doing. So I often have to remind myself. to simplify things, to take a step back and stop trying to overcomplicate things, because sometimes that can also be a form of self-sabotage that comes from self-doubt.

So that can be a way for your brain to try and do all the things because you feel like you have to when in reality you may know that you might not be able to, and so it’s a way to try and protect yourself from that failure or success that could result. If you’re curious if you have a fear of success, That might be resulting in self-sabotage.

I did a previous podcast episode all about that topic recently. So you can click on the link in the corner if you’re checking out on YouTube or the link in the description if you are listening to the podcast. So if you find that you’re overcomplicating things, then focus on just the most simple thing that you can do.

The easier next step. This isn’t to say that you are half assing it or not doing enough. But it’s to say that you are not overwhelming yourself with the expectation that you need to do everything. Many times just focusing on the easiest next step will help to kind of allow you to dip your toes into the pool gradually and help you to actually ease into the situation more easily rather than trying to dive into the deep end.

And oftentimes this can be an easier way to approach situations that are triggering of self-doubt If you’re trying to do too much at once, it can feel too overwhelming. And those thoughts of self doubt and the preservation that your brain tries to enact to try and keep you safe can be too overwhelming for you to take that first step if you’re going and trying to do too much at once.

And so taking gradual steps and making things easier for yourself to a point that feels a little out of your comfort zone, but not too much can make it easier so that you can adjust into. Doing things and going towards the goals that you want and you have for yourself. An important thing to keep in mind when it comes to self-doubt is to see moments of self-doubt as opportunities for growth.

It takes courage to do things that feel scary and difficult. That’s when self-doubt becomes louder. Know that doing this, doing the thing that’s bringing up self doubt for you will help you to build confidence in yourself and reflect upon what you can learn from this, what you can gain from doing something that is helping you to build your confidence, something that is helping you to grow as a person.

Is it maybe setting boundaries to help you to reinforce that your needs are worthy? Or is it facing a fear or doing something outside of your comfort zone that will help you feel more confident and closer to your goals? Whatever it is, recognize that pushing through that self-doubt can help you to grow as a person, not only in your external abilities, not only externally in the way that other people may view you, but also internally when it comes to your skills, your confidence, and your self-worth.

You are facing those thoughts of self-doubt and telling them, I don’t have to listen to you. You can be there in the background, maybe trying to speak up and trying to get me to listen to you, but you do not have to make the decisions. Your self-doubt is not making the choices. You’re making the calls.

I don’t have to listen to you. That is super powerful. And that is a process of, you know, the more that you practice that rewiring your brain to learn to When those thoughts of self-doubt come up, acknowledge them and let them go. And then choose to focus on taking intentional action towards the direction that you want, reinforcing those beliefs and those thoughts about yourself that help you to build that confidence and self-worth from within.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Leave me a comment below if you’re watching on YouTube or if you are listening on Spotify, letting me know what do you like to hear in moments when you’re experiencing self-doubt. And if you’re interested in taking the next steps, I have a free training on how to create work-life balance and feel calmer as a high-achieving professional.

In this free training, you will learn my three phase calm, balanced and confident method to help you to feel calmer from within, create work-life balance and feel more confidence with ease. You can learn more and take this free training by going to calmlycoping.com/workshop. And while you wait for the next episode, this episode on are you afraid of success is a great next episode to check out to help you to recognize if you could be self sabotaging as a result of your fear of success. I also have other episodes about calming your mind, creating work life balance, and how to feel more confident from within that you can check out here. Thank you so much for tuning in today, and until next time, be calm.

Thanks so much for listening. If you like what you heard, please share this episode with a friend, and please subscribe and leave me a review on iTunes. Also, remember to check me out online at CalmlyCoping.com and connect with me on Instagram @TatianaGLPC. All content here is for informational purposes only.

This content does not replace the professional judgment of your own mental health provider. Please consult a licensed mental health professional for all individual questions and issues. Till next time, I’m Tati, and this has been Calmly Coping.