5 Tips to Stop Rushing Through Your Life (for high achievers)

If you find yourself perpetually rushing through your life from one task to the next, one event to the next, one milestone to the next, with a constant state of urgency and rushing, then this episode is for you. Maybe you look back on your day or your time with loved ones and wonder, what’s next? Where was I?

It’s possible you were so focused on getting to the next thing that you weren’t fully present for the experience that was right in front of you, the present moment. When you are constantly in this state, you end up missing your life. Stay tuned for practical tips to help you stop rushing through your life so you can be more present for the experiences and people you love.

Welcome to Calmly Coping. My name is Tati Garcia and I’m a licensed therapist and coach specializing in high functioning anxiety. Help high achievers stop putting themselves last so they can feel more calm, balanced, and confident from within. If this topic interests you, then please like, subscribe, and hit the notification bell so you’ll be notified every time I release a new episode.

Thank you so much for tuning in. This used to be me, a hundred thousand percent, always rushing through life. And honestly, I didn’t even recognize it all the time or any of the time, especially in the beginning. And because of that, it’s really easy for me to get caught up in this pattern again, because it’s so ingrained in me.

And I’ve done a lot of work to get out of this place so that I can actually enjoy my life. And the only thing we ever truly have, which is right now, the present moment, I even got. I have a phrase tattooed on myself, only this moment is life, to remind myself of this, to remind myself to be here, to be present, to not rush, and you don’t necessarily have to go forward and get a tattoo or anything permanent like that, but sometimes there can be simple mindset shifts or changes in the way that we approach the present moment that we can make in order to help you stop rushing and actually be present for the moments in your life.

Here are some reasons why you might be rushing through your life. Maybe it’s because you’re more focused on the outcome than the journey. It’s that cliche of it’s about the journey, not the destination. Especially if you’re somebody who is high achieving and focused on accomplishing things, getting to that goal, then of course, you’re going to be focused on the outcome.

Of course, you’re going to be focused on the destination, the achievement, the accomplishment. However, sometimes that can be frustrating. put us in a place of hyper fixating on that end goal and missing the process and not being present for the process and maybe even being miserable during the process.

Now there are many beliefs and patterns that can keep you stuck here. First is if you have the belief that I’ll be happy when this thing happens. happens, when blank happens, when I get this job, when I make this amount of money, when I graduate, when I move to this location, when blank thing happens. So there can be so many things.

And this can be something that we can repeat over and over again in our lives. And we think, All right, when this happens, then I’ll finally be settled. I’ll finally be happy. Everything will finally be okay. But if you really look back on the past, has that ever really happened? No. You’ve probably moved on to the next thing, or the next, or the next.

So, if you can catch yourself in this belief system, in this way of thinking, then you can recognize that Happiness is not a state where you arrive to. It’s not something that you achieve by getting something done. Sure, things can bring us happiness and fulfillment, but ultimately it’s a feeling that comes from within us.

And it can happen regardless of our circumstances and regardless of what we have or what we have accomplished. And so recognizing that can help you to be more present and help you to stop that idea of rushing and feeling like you need to get to the next thing in order to feel more fulfilled. Maybe you have the belief that I can’t relax or enjoy my life Until this thing is done and you feel like you need to get things done and then before then you need to kind of constantly be rushing and being busy and going through the motions and then once you’ve finished this, once you’ve checked off everything on your to do list or once you’ve completed all of these projects or once you’ve done all of these home renovations or once your kid is in school or once your kid is out of or going to college or whatever it is, then you can relax, then you can enjoy your life.

But really, again, it’s similar to what I just shared, where I won’t be happy until this happens. It’s the same kind of concept where that moment doesn’t fully come and what you’re doing is just prolonging your happiness. You’re just prolonging the moments where you actually can be present, where you can enjoy things and you can feel calmer, you can feel happier or whatever it is that you want to feel while working on these things, while doing.

the things on your to do list, or whatever experience you’re going through right now. Or you might think, the quicker I can get things done, then the faster that I can enjoy this. And this becomes a constant, and it’s not always easy to just turn this on and off. So if you’re in this state of mind and thinking, I just need to get this done quickly, I just need to rush through this.

I used to, when I worked a job that, like, I would sit there a lot, it would be like, all right, can I just fast forward time and get through this? But really that can be a thing that then you can get stuck in this state and then it can start to apply to moments where you actually want to be present, but because you’re so used to just wanting to rush through or get through these things, you’re not actually able to.

cultivating that skill of being there and being present for the moments that actually matter, the weekends, or the time off, or the time with your family, or the time with your partner, or whatever it could be. It could also be that you are avoiding the present moment because of certain subconscious things that are getting in the way.

For example, you might notice that when you do stop or slow down or take a break, then you’re going to be confronted with your negative thoughts. or difficult emotions or discomfort or boredom or whatever it is that you might be subconsciously trying to avoid. Our minds and bodies as humans, we want to go towards pleasure and away from pain.

And so if you find that maybe you’re experiencing some anxiety or fear or discomfort or guilt or boredom under the surface, Then you might just be doing whatever you can to get away from this, and that could mean staying busy, rushing through life, going from one thing to the next, when really what can help you to feel more present and feel more fulfilled is actually facing these things that you’ve been avoiding.

being with the discomfort, facing your fears, actually being comfortable with being uncomfortable and being bored. It’s the paradoxical kind of thing that can help you to actually enjoy your life. One small example, if you find that you have trouble with waiting in line without checking your phone, see if you can just sit down.

And be, be present, be with the boredom, be with the awkwardness of looking around and being the only person not checking your phone. Those are small moments where you can practice just being present regardless of what’s happening. And I’ll go into more tips in a little bit. Another thing that might be keeping you stuck in this rushing through life is if this feels familiar for you.

And I’ll go into more tips So maybe your parents were this way and this was something that you learned from them or got from them. Maybe you were raised this way in a chaotic household where the focus was just on getting to the next thing or there wasn’t that sense of stability and so our bodies can sometimes unconsciously seek out what feels familiar even if it’s not helpful for us, even if it’s not something that is going to be satisfying.

We’re more focused on seeking out what feels comfortable than seeking out what could be potentially enjoyable for us. And so recognizing maybe this is just a pattern that you’ve continued to be in because your nervous system is adjusted to it because it’s something that’s comfortable and familiar for you.

And if that’s the case, seeing what it would be like to try and shift out of that place. And so now let’s talk about some specific tips to help you to stop rushing through your life. Number one is what I shared before that quote, only this moment is life, recognizing that all we have is the present moment.

And you can remember this, keep this somewhere where it’s visible, maybe writing it on a post it note or putting it on your dry erase board or keeping it as your phone background or whatever it is, whether it’s this quote or something else, just recognizing that all we have is right now. So how can you be present for this moment?

moment. Each moment is unique and you’ll never experience this moment again. And if you’re rushing through your life, then you’re just going to miss all of these incredible moments that you can’t get back. And this isn’t to be in a place of kind of morbidity or nihilism or anything like that, but it’s more in a place of appreciation and gratitude and coming from that place of Really appreciating that the beauty that is being alive that can sometimes be forgotten when we’re going through the motions of our day to day lives.

One simple way to connect to the present moment is connecting to your five senses. So noticing what do you see around you and you can practice this now if you’re in a place where you feel comfortable doing so. The colors, you know, for me, I see the vibrancy of My greenish blue walls, I see the, the sun from outside and the, the light that’s shining on me.

What do you hear? Maybe it’s the sound of my voice. Maybe it’s something else. What do you feel? Maybe you can touch something near you or you feel the wind on your skin or the warmth from the sun, or maybe there’s a chill in the air. What do you smell? And you know, you know, your five senses kind of going through and savoring these senses in a simple way like this can help you connect with the present and get out of your head and into your body.

Tip number two is to stop multitasking. I know maybe you’re somebody who wants to do it all, get all the things done. You have these ambitious goals and desires for yourself. And You just don’t have the time and so you multitask and so you listen to a podcast while you work and while you go through your to do list and while you check your email and while you’re scrolling through social media, et cetera, et cetera.

Multitasking just isn’t a thing. What’s happening is our mind is constantly task switching and ultimately it’s taking us further away from the present moment and from being. present for something, even if it’s something you don’t enjoy doing. Now, it’s not to say that you can’t listen to a podcast while you’re doing your chores or listen to music that you enjoy while you’re doing something else, but it’s just to say that it can be really beneficial to train your brain to focus on one task at a time.

Not only does this increase productivity and focus, but it allows you to be present for what is happening without. out the overwhelm. Next tip is drawing from what I shared before, but it’s to focus on the journey, not the outcome. Thinking of what will you get from the process? So maybe you have some specific goal in mind, but is there something that you can potentially learn from the process?

Are there things that you can improve? Appreciate and enjoy or do to make the process more enjoyable for yourself thinking of it in that way So what am I going to get from the process of working on this rather than the outcome? When we can think of for example, maybe you want to go on walks daily for exercise and thinking Well when I walk more regularly, then i’m going to be in better shape.

I’m going to be more active I’m going to feel more energetic and those are yes outcomes. However How can you shift this to what are you going to get from the process of going on a walk? So maybe you can practice being more present. Maybe you can enjoy your neighborhood and appreciate the sights and sounds around you and enjoy the process of being outside and taking in the fresh air.

air or maybe you’re going on a walk with a coworker or a friend or a family member and maybe this is an opportunity for you to connect with them. Thinking of what can you get from the process of going through this and when working towards whatever it is that you are rather than only fixating on the outcome.

My next tip is to set realistic expectations, reflecting on what you have done over the Well, rather than focusing on everything that you need to do or that you haven’t done, that you need to fix. And I want to share a voice message that I received from a listener, Kevin, that illustrates this perfectly.

Hello, this is Kevin, also known as AWOL, and I wanted to share with you something that’s actually starting to work for me. I followed a number of your videos and it occurs to me that because of my ADHD, I have a bit of selective memory. I can remember all the things that I haven’t accomplished, but I tend to forget everything that I have done.

And so what I’m doing now is in my journal, I will note down any accomplishment. Maybe I did a load of laundry and then maybe later that day, I also folded the laundry or put it away. Basically just everything that I accomplished. And this helps me in two ways. One, at the end of the day, I can look back and say, wow, I really did a lot.

And the second way, and this I didn’t anticipate, is I now have a more realistic idea of what can be accomplished in a day. And this helps me keep things in perspective. That sure, there are some good days where I get 8, 9, 10 things accomplished. And there are other days where there’s not as much. And this is, Taking a lot of the anxiety of not doing enough off of me because I realized there are only so many hours in the day There’s only so much I can do so I love the outcome that Kevin experienced from this process Where not only are you recognizing the positive and this can allow you to Not only after the fact reflect on this, but also help you to be more fully in the moment when you’re actually experiencing it, but also how this allowed him to be more realistic with what he can get done in the day, rather than maybe the tendency that a lot of us have to rush through the list and feel discouraged when we don’t get through it all and feel like the day was a waste or just feel really negative about things.

My next tip is to slow down. Take things slow. This can look like catching yourself rushing. If you find that you’re rushing to go get a snack in between clients and really you have more than enough time, ask yourself, wait, What am I doing? Why am I rushing? What is the purpose of this? And kind of reflect on what will allow me to take this one step at a time, rather than feeling like I need to be done already or I need to just move from one thing to the next or one location to the next.

How can I be present for the process? One example of this is I used to rush to get books finished and then wondered, why am I doing this? You know, was it to meet some arbitrary reading goal that I had set for myself that I can say, Oh, I’ve read X amount of books this year. When in reality, what difference does that make?

You know, who is counting the books that I read? This isn’t a competition. And you know, when I’m able to catch myself in those moments, then I can reflect and think, okay, now I can focus on the journey of actually reading and actually enjoying a book and actually allowing it to sink in rather than feeling the need to rush through just to meet some arbitrary goal that I put upon myself and maybe this applies to you and in a certain area of your life.

And so if you can ask yourself, what would it be like to take this slow? What would it be like to really enjoy this, to really fully experience this and allow this To sink in because many times when we rush through things, we’re missing things, we’re missing information, we’re missing emotions, we’re missing the experience.

And when we can take it slowly, we can actually allow ourselves to take in the pleasant experiences that we just naturally experience through our days, but often miss. or overlook. Now, these are my tips. I hope you found them helpful if you’re somebody who is finding yourself rushing through life and if you’re somebody who is high achieving and you resonate as rushing through life as maybe feeling anxious or putting a lot of pressure on yourself or family.

feeling stressed or overwhelmed, then you may have what’s called high functioning anxiety. If you’re interested in learning more about high functioning anxiety and taking my quiz to see if this is something that aligns with what you’re experiencing, you can go to hfaquiz.com to take the free quiz and get your personalized results.

And I’d love to hear your tips to help you to stop rushing through life in the comments below so we can share that with our other listeners if you’re watching on YouTube or if you’re listening on Spotify. And if you have a message, question, or comment for the podcast, you can submit it at calmlycoping.com/message while you wait for next week’s episode. I have other episodes about calming your mind, increasing work life balance, and feeling more confident from within. So you can check out these episodes here. Thank you so much for tuning in today and until next time, be calm.